Official Document
Medical Sick Note
Certificate of Incapacity for Work due to AI Outage
SB-64681568-20260506
AI is still down. The employee remains unable to work.
Employee / Patient
Claude Code User
Unable to work due to Claude Code outage (Anthropic) — View service page
🩺 Diagnosis
Minor productivity loss — AI is working at snail speed, patient is considering taking the rest of the day off. (Affected service: Claude Code — Connection failures for organizations restricting GitHub access by IP address)
🔮 Prognosis
Duration of incapacity: Indefinite. Productive work is out of the question until the AI is back online.
Issuing Physician
Dr. Packet Loss
Specialist for Technology-Induced Work Incapacity
Specialist for AI-related Work Incapacity
Sorry-Boss.com Medical Institute
Date of Issuance
May 06, 2026
22:41 UTC
Certificate #SB-64681568-20260506
Certified
SICK
Sorry-Boss.com
This is a satirical document generated by Sorry-Boss.com. It is not a real medical certificate. But let's be honest — can you really work without your AI? We rest our case.