Official Document
Medical Sick Note
Certificate of Incapacity for Work due to AI Outage
SB-4A7E7D10-20260515
AI is still down. The employee remains unable to work.
Employee / Patient
Claude API User
Unable to work due to Claude API outage (Anthropic) — View service page
🩺 Diagnosis
Moderate work disruption — Patient is cursing uncontrollably at the screen and has consumed three coffees too many. (Affected service: Claude API — Elevated error rates on Opus 4.6 and 4.7)
🔮 Prognosis
Expected return to work: Unclear. Patient is refreshing the status page every 30 seconds.
Issuing Physician
Dr. Server Crash
Specialist for AI-dependent Work Disorders
Specialist for AI-related Work Incapacity
Sorry-Boss.com Medical Institute
Date of Issuance
May 15, 2026
00:30 UTC
Certificate #SB-4A7E7D10-20260515
Certified
SICK
Sorry-Boss.com
This is a satirical document generated by Sorry-Boss.com. It is not a real medical certificate. But let's be honest — can you really work without your AI? We rest our case.