Official Document
Medical Sick Note
Certificate of Incapacity for Work due to AI Outage
SB-20D9500B-20260519
AI is still down. The employee remains unable to work.
Employee / Patient
Claude API User
Unable to work due to Claude API outage (Anthropic) — View service page
🩺 Diagnosis
Moderate work disruption — Patient is cursing uncontrollably at the screen and has consumed three coffees too many. (Affected service: Claude API — Elevated errors on Claude Haiku 4.5)
🔮 Prognosis
The patient will likely remain incapacitated until their AI tool is back online. We recommend patience and snacks.
Issuing Physician
Dr. Rita Bootloop
Specialist for Chronic Tool Failures
Specialist for AI-related Work Incapacity
Sorry-Boss.com Medical Institute
Date of Issuance
May 19, 2026
07:00 UTC
Certificate #SB-20D9500B-20260519
Certified
SICK
Sorry-Boss.com
This is a satirical document generated by Sorry-Boss.com. It is not a real medical certificate. But let's be honest — can you really work without your AI? We rest our case.