Official Document
Medical Sick Note
Certificate of Incapacity for Work due to AI Outage
SB-898E653D-20260328
AI is still down. The employee remains unable to work.
Employee / Patient
Claude API User
Unable to work due to Claude API outage (Anthropic) — View service page
🩺 Diagnosis
Partial AI withdrawal — Patient desperately attempts to complete tasks manually but fails miserably. (Affected service: Claude API — Elevated errors on Opus 4.6 Fast Mode)
🔮 Prognosis
Prognosis: Recovery possible only after full restoration of the AI service. Until then: Netflix.
Issuing Physician
Dr. Packet Loss
Specialist for Technology-Induced Work Incapacity
Specialist for AI-related Work Incapacity
Sorry-Boss.com Medical Institute
Date of Issuance
March 28, 2026
13:12 UTC
Certificate #SB-898E653D-20260328
Certified
SICK
Sorry-Boss.com
This is a satirical document generated by Sorry-Boss.com. It is not a real medical certificate. But let's be honest — can you really work without your AI? We rest our case.