Official Document
Medical Sick Note
Certificate of Incapacity for Work due to AI Outage
SB-E36A513D-20260530
AI is still down. The employee remains unable to work.
Employee / Patient
Claude API User
Unable to work due to Claude API outage (Anthropic) — View service page
🩺 Diagnosis
Advanced productivity loss — AI responds only sporadically, patient spends more time waiting than working. (Affected service: Claude API — opus 4.7 elevated errors)
🔮 Prognosis
Duration of incapacity: Indefinite. Productive work is out of the question until the AI is back online.
Issuing Physician
Prof. Dr. Error 503
Chief of the Productivity Loss Department
Specialist for AI-related Work Incapacity
Sorry-Boss.com Medical Institute
Date of Issuance
May 30, 2026
23:09 UTC
Certificate #SB-E36A513D-20260530
Certified
SICK
Sorry-Boss.com
This is a satirical document generated by Sorry-Boss.com. It is not a real medical certificate. But let's be honest — can you really work without your AI? We rest our case.