Official Document
Medical Sick Note
Certificate of Incapacity for Work due to AI Outage
SB-4B252E30-20260401
AI is still down. The employee remains unable to work.
Employee / Patient
Claude API User
Unable to work due to Claude API outage (Anthropic) — View service page
🩺 Diagnosis
Partial AI withdrawal — Patient desperately attempts to complete tasks manually but fails miserably. (Affected service: Claude API — Elevated errors and latency on Claude Haiku 4.5)
🔮 Prognosis
Duration of incapacity: Indefinite. Productive work is out of the question until the AI is back online.
Issuing Physician
Prof. Dr. Error 503
Chief of the Productivity Loss Department
Specialist for AI-related Work Incapacity
Sorry-Boss.com Medical Institute
Date of Issuance
April 01, 2026
01:42 UTC
Certificate #SB-4B252E30-20260401
Certified
SICK
Sorry-Boss.com
This is a satirical document generated by Sorry-Boss.com. It is not a real medical certificate. But let's be honest — can you really work without your AI? We rest our case.