Official Document
Medical Sick Note
Certificate of Incapacity for Work due to AI Outage
SB-DBEE9A38-20260401
The AI service has recovered. The employee may return to work.
Employee / Patient
Claude API User
Unable to work due to Claude API outage (Anthropic) — View service page
🩺 Diagnosis
Mild impairment of work performance due to slow AI responses. Patient shows early signs of impatience. (Affected service: Claude API — Elevated timeouts on requests to Claude Opus 4.6 and Sonnet 4.6)
🔮 Prognosis
Recovery complete. Patient has regained access to their AI tool and can stop pretending to work manually.
Issuing Physician
Dr. Rita Bootloop
Specialist for Chronic Tool Failures
Specialist for AI-related Work Incapacity
Sorry-Boss.com Medical Institute
Date of Issuance
April 01, 2026
07:12 UTC
Certificate #SB-DBEE9A38-20260401
Certified
SICK
Sorry-Boss.com
This is a satirical document generated by Sorry-Boss.com. It is not a real medical certificate. But let's be honest — can you really work without your AI? We rest our case.