Official Document
Medical Sick Note
Certificate of Incapacity for Work due to AI Outage
SB-E16C00CA-20260813
AI is still down. The employee remains unable to work.
Employee / Patient
Claude API User
Unable to work due to Claude API outage (Anthropic) — View service page
🩺 Diagnosis
Significant impairment of work capacity due to unstable AI service. Patient is operating at only 10% of usual productivity. (Affected service: Claude API — Elevated errors for Claude Mythos 5, Claude Fable 5, and Claude Sonnet 5)
🔮 Prognosis
Duration of incapacity: Indefinite. Productive work is out of the question until the AI is back online.
Issuing Physician
Dr. Claudia Timeout
Specialist for AI Outage Syndromes
Specialist for AI-related Work Incapacity
Sorry-Boss.com Medical Institute
Date of Issuance
August 13, 2026
14:45 UTC
Certificate #SB-E16C00CA-20260813
Certified
SICK
Sorry-Boss.com
This is a satirical document generated by Sorry-Boss.com. It is not a real medical certificate. But let's be honest — can you really work without your AI? We rest our case.