Official Document
Medical Sick Note
Certificate of Incapacity for Work due to AI Outage
SB-2950A52C-20260815
The AI service has recovered. The employee may return to work.
Employee / Patient
Claude.ai User
Unable to work due to Claude.ai outage (Anthropic) — View service page
🩺 Diagnosis
Advanced productivity loss — AI responds only sporadically, patient spends more time waiting than working. (Affected service: Claude.ai — Elevated errors for Claude Fable 5)
🔮 Prognosis
Recovery complete. Patient has regained access to their AI tool and can stop pretending to work manually.
Issuing Physician
Dr. Packet Loss
Specialist for Technology-Induced Work Incapacity
Specialist for AI-related Work Incapacity
Sorry-Boss.com Medical Institute
Date of Issuance
August 15, 2026
00:30 UTC
Certificate #SB-2950A52C-20260815
Certified
SICK
Sorry-Boss.com
This is a satirical document generated by Sorry-Boss.com. It is not a real medical certificate. But let's be honest — can you really work without your AI? We rest our case.