Official Document
Medical Sick Note
Certificate of Incapacity for Work due to AI Outage
SB-7BBC0979-20260831
AI is still down. The employee remains unable to work.
Employee / Patient
Claude.ai User
Unable to work due to Claude.ai outage (Anthropic) — View service page
🩺 Diagnosis
Moderate work disruption — Patient is cursing uncontrollably at the screen and has consumed three coffees too many. (Affected service: Claude.ai — Degraded performance on claude.ai and Claude Code)
🔮 Prognosis
Expected return to work: Unclear. Patient is refreshing the status page every 30 seconds.
Issuing Physician
Prof. Dr. Bit Missing
Senior Physician for Digital Withdrawal Symptoms
Specialist for AI-related Work Incapacity
Sorry-Boss.com Medical Institute
Date of Issuance
August 31, 2026
19:30 UTC
Certificate #SB-7BBC0979-20260831
Certified
SICK
Sorry-Boss.com
This is a satirical document generated by Sorry-Boss.com. It is not a real medical certificate. But let's be honest — can you really work without your AI? We rest our case.