Official Document
Medical Sick Note
Certificate of Incapacity for Work due to AI Outage
SB-C6C9B3E8-20260831
AI is still down. The employee remains unable to work.
Employee / Patient
Claude Code User
Unable to work due to Claude Code outage (Anthropic) — View service page
🩺 Diagnosis
Advanced productivity loss — AI responds only sporadically, patient spends more time waiting than working. (Affected service: Claude Code — Degraded performance on claude.ai and Claude Code)
🔮 Prognosis
Prognosis: Recovery possible only after full restoration of the AI service. Until then: Netflix.
Issuing Physician
Dr. Claudia Timeout
Specialist for AI Outage Syndromes
Specialist for AI-related Work Incapacity
Sorry-Boss.com Medical Institute
Date of Issuance
August 31, 2026
19:30 UTC
Certificate #SB-C6C9B3E8-20260831
Certified
SICK
Sorry-Boss.com
This is a satirical document generated by Sorry-Boss.com. It is not a real medical certificate. But let's be honest — can you really work without your AI? We rest our case.