Official Document
Medical Sick Note
Certificate of Incapacity for Work due to AI Outage
SB-1DB8A1B1-20261007
AI is still down. The employee remains unable to work.
Employee / Patient
Claude Console User
Unable to work due to Claude Console outage (Anthropic) — View service page
🩺 Diagnosis
Advanced productivity loss — AI responds only sporadically, patient spends more time waiting than working. (Affected service: Claude Console — Elevated errors loading usage data on platform.claude.com)
🔮 Prognosis
Duration of incapacity: Indefinite. Productive work is out of the question until the AI is back online.
Issuing Physician
Dr. Server Crash
Specialist for AI-dependent Work Disorders
Specialist for AI-related Work Incapacity
Sorry-Boss.com Medical Institute
Date of Issuance
October 07, 2026
01:30 UTC
Certificate #SB-1DB8A1B1-20261007
Certified
SICK
Sorry-Boss.com
This is a satirical document generated by Sorry-Boss.com. It is not a real medical certificate. But let's be honest — can you really work without your AI? We rest our case.