Official Document
Medical Sick Note
Certificate of Incapacity for Work due to AI Outage
SB-D4279FCD-20260428
AI is still down. The employee remains unable to work.
Employee / Patient
Claude API User
Unable to work due to Claude API outage (Anthropic) — View service page
🩺 Diagnosis
Advanced productivity loss — AI responds only sporadically, patient spends more time waiting than working. (Affected service: Claude API — Elevated errors on Claude Haiku 4.5)
🔮 Prognosis
Prognosis: Recovery possible only after full restoration of the AI service. Until then: Netflix.
Issuing Physician
Dr. Rita Bootloop
Specialist for Chronic Tool Failures
Specialist for AI-related Work Incapacity
Sorry-Boss.com Medical Institute
Date of Issuance
April 28, 2026
12:26 UTC
Certificate #SB-D4279FCD-20260428
Certified
SICK
Sorry-Boss.com
This is a satirical document generated by Sorry-Boss.com. It is not a real medical certificate. But let's be honest — can you really work without your AI? We rest our case.