Official Document
Medical Sick Note
Certificate of Incapacity for Work due to AI Outage
SB-0800BA59-20260509
AI is still down. The employee remains unable to work.
Employee / Patient
Claude API User
Unable to work due to Claude API outage (Anthropic) — View service page
🩺 Diagnosis
Moderate work disruption — Patient is cursing uncontrollably at the screen and has consumed three coffees too many. (Affected service: Claude API — Elevated errors on Claude Opus 4.1)
🔮 Prognosis
Duration of incapacity: Indefinite. Productive work is out of the question until the AI is back online.
Issuing Physician
Prof. Dr. Bit Missing
Senior Physician for Digital Withdrawal Symptoms
Specialist for AI-related Work Incapacity
Sorry-Boss.com Medical Institute
Date of Issuance
May 09, 2026
08:15 UTC
Certificate #SB-0800BA59-20260509
Certified
SICK
Sorry-Boss.com
This is a satirical document generated by Sorry-Boss.com. It is not a real medical certificate. But let's be honest — can you really work without your AI? We rest our case.