Official Document
Medical Sick Note
Certificate of Incapacity for Work due to AI Outage
SB-DC5C4082-20260329
AI is still down. The employee remains unable to work.
Employee / Patient
Claude Code User
Unable to work due to Claude Code outage (Anthropic) — View service page
🩺 Diagnosis
Mild AI malaise — Patient occasionally has to think for themselves and is visibly overwhelmed by this. (Affected service: Claude Code — Dispatch sessions not responding in Claude Desktop)
🔮 Prognosis
Expected return to work: Unclear. Patient is refreshing the status page every 30 seconds.
Issuing Physician
Dr. Rita Bootloop
Specialist for Chronic Tool Failures
Specialist for AI-related Work Incapacity
Sorry-Boss.com Medical Institute
Date of Issuance
March 29, 2026
00:57 UTC
Certificate #SB-DC5C4082-20260329
Certified
SICK
Sorry-Boss.com
This is a satirical document generated by Sorry-Boss.com. It is not a real medical certificate. But let's be honest — can you really work without your AI? We rest our case.