Official Document
Medical Sick Note
Certificate of Incapacity for Work due to AI Outage
SB-9DE55610-20260616
AI is still down. The employee remains unable to work.
Employee / Patient
Claude API User
Unable to work due to Claude API outage (Anthropic) — View service page
🩺 Diagnosis
Minor productivity loss — AI is working at snail speed, patient is considering taking the rest of the day off. (Affected service: Claude API — Opus 4.8 errors)
🔮 Prognosis
Expected return to work: Unclear. Patient is refreshing the status page every 30 seconds.
Issuing Physician
Dr. Rita Bootloop
Specialist for Chronic Tool Failures
Specialist for AI-related Work Incapacity
Sorry-Boss.com Medical Institute
Date of Issuance
June 16, 2026
20:09 UTC
Certificate #SB-9DE55610-20260616
Certified
SICK
Sorry-Boss.com
This is a satirical document generated by Sorry-Boss.com. It is not a real medical certificate. But let's be honest — can you really work without your AI? We rest our case.