Official Document
Medical Sick Note
Certificate of Incapacity for Work due to AI Outage
SB-1F4456F7-20260331
AI is still down. The employee remains unable to work.
Employee / Patient
Claude API User
Unable to work due to Claude API outage (Anthropic) — View service page
🩺 Diagnosis
Mild impairment of work performance due to slow AI responses. Patient shows early signs of impatience. (Affected service: Claude API — Opus 4.6 error rate elevated)
🔮 Prognosis
The patient will likely remain incapacitated until their AI tool is back online. We recommend patience and snacks.
Issuing Physician
Dr. Server Crash
Specialist for AI-dependent Work Disorders
Specialist for AI-related Work Incapacity
Sorry-Boss.com Medical Institute
Date of Issuance
March 31, 2026
19:42 UTC
Certificate #SB-1F4456F7-20260331
Certified
SICK
Sorry-Boss.com
This is a satirical document generated by Sorry-Boss.com. It is not a real medical certificate. But let's be honest — can you really work without your AI? We rest our case.