Official Document
Medical Sick Note
Certificate of Incapacity for Work due to AI Outage
SB-13F5C16E-20260717
AI is still down. The employee remains unable to work.
Employee / Patient
Claude API User
Unable to work due to Claude API outage (Anthropic) — View service page
🩺 Diagnosis
Partial AI withdrawal — Patient desperately attempts to complete tasks manually but fails miserably. (Affected service: Claude API — Elevated error rates for Sonnet 5)
🔮 Prognosis
The patient will likely remain incapacitated until their AI tool is back online. We recommend patience and snacks.
Issuing Physician
Dr. Rita Bootloop
Specialist for Chronic Tool Failures
Specialist for AI-related Work Incapacity
Sorry-Boss.com Medical Institute
Date of Issuance
July 17, 2026
18:18 UTC
Certificate #SB-13F5C16E-20260717
Certified
SICK
Sorry-Boss.com
This is a satirical document generated by Sorry-Boss.com. It is not a real medical certificate. But let's be honest — can you really work without your AI? We rest our case.