Official Document
Medical Sick Note
Certificate of Incapacity for Work due to AI Outage
SB-85D2EA70-20260803
AI is still down. The employee remains unable to work.
Employee / Patient
Claude API User
Unable to work due to Claude API outage (Anthropic) — View service page
🩺 Diagnosis
Advanced productivity loss — AI responds only sporadically, patient spends more time waiting than working. (Affected service: Claude API — Degraded performance on Claude Sonnet 5)
🔮 Prognosis
Expected return to work: Unclear. Patient is refreshing the status page every 30 seconds.
Issuing Physician
Dr. Packet Loss
Specialist for Technology-Induced Work Incapacity
Specialist for AI-related Work Incapacity
Sorry-Boss.com Medical Institute
Date of Issuance
August 03, 2026
15:15 UTC
Certificate #SB-85D2EA70-20260803
Certified
SICK
Sorry-Boss.com
This is a satirical document generated by Sorry-Boss.com. It is not a real medical certificate. But let's be honest — can you really work without your AI? We rest our case.