Official Document
Medical Sick Note
Certificate of Incapacity for Work due to AI Outage
SB-7E119F64-20260816
AI is still down. The employee remains unable to work.
Employee / Patient
Claude Console User
Unable to work due to Claude Console outage (Anthropic) — View service page
🩺 Diagnosis
Significant impairment of work capacity due to unstable AI service. Patient is operating at only 10% of usual productivity. (Affected service: Claude Console — Service disruption on Claude services)
🔮 Prognosis
The patient will likely remain incapacitated until their AI tool is back online. We recommend patience and snacks.
Issuing Physician
Dr. Packet Loss
Specialist for Technology-Induced Work Incapacity
Specialist for AI-related Work Incapacity
Sorry-Boss.com Medical Institute
Date of Issuance
August 16, 2026
22:15 UTC
Certificate #SB-7E119F64-20260816
Certified
SICK
Sorry-Boss.com
This is a satirical document generated by Sorry-Boss.com. It is not a real medical certificate. But let's be honest — can you really work without your AI? We rest our case.